Shame   Leave a comment


Shame (1-20):

Someone at this level feels humiliated, has low self-esteem, and is paranoid. Common feelings by someone at this level include feeling like he/she has “lost face,” wishing that he/she is invisible, and feeling worthless. Some individuals react by becoming overly rigid or neurotic perfectionists. Vibrating at this level for prolonged periods leads to elimination (of self and others), such as suicide, turning into serial killers, rapists, or moral extremists who apply self-righteous judgment onto others. A person’s life view at this state is misery.

Most people have some amount of shame in them. Many people internalize shame and the effects of abuse, holding on to the perception that what they now feel, think, and remember is not right or somehow their fault. By and large, and sad to say, society tends to make this very easy for people by harboring and expressing their judgmental and insensitive thoughts about victims. They’re perceived as having been weak and vulnerable at the time of the incident, a state of being they should have been able to avoid had they been stronger emotionally or had they taken wiser action. Or, they’re perceived as being deluded or over-reactive, a state of being that says more about the victim’s mental health than the abuse they suffered from. Both of these viewpoints further cement the victim’s viewpoint of themselves—that something is wrong with them, the hallmark of shame. It is the false shame of fools to try to conceal wounds that have not healed. Your shame hides in many places-in anger, blame, denial, workaholism, perfectionism, drinking, and anything else you compulsively engage in to make yourself feel better. But if you could just learn to be vulnerable for one second, and open up to the pain, you would find there’s no place left for your shame to hide. Shame is not your friend. It depletes your power. Let go of shame and embrace your magnificence. Shame can never disturb an innocent and virtuous mind.     The basis of shame is not some personal mistake of ours, but the ignominy, the humiliation we feel that we must be what we are without any choice in the matter, and that this humiliation is seen by everyone. Never feel shame for trying and failing for he who has never failed is he who has never tried. The difference between shame and guilt is the difference between “I am bad” and “I did something bad”. There is no shame in turning back, when you discover you are on the wrong path. We live in a world where most people still subscribe to the belief that shame is a good tool for keeping people in line. Not only is this wrong, but it’s dangerous. Shame is highly correlated with addiction, violence, aggression, depression, eating disorders, and bullying. Don’t feel shame for failing but for not trying. It is okay to feel the shame.

The shame mental states erode our courage and fuels disengagement. Never do anything you are ashamed of and you’ll never have to lie. It is deprived state of self-disposition in circle of family, friends, and society. This mental state seeks salvation of lost earned social name and fame, and therefore, thinks over new places to settle or travel where no one knows him or her. This shame state needs a welcome in society, if transformation is there. Instead of worrying about what people say of you, why not spend time trying to accomplish something they will admire.  When you are no longer friends with someone, respect their secrets they shared with you with deep trust- It’s integrity to stop shaming others.

Posted January 14, 2020 by arjunlimbu in Uncategorized

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